Dear The Australian Government,
First of all, thank you for the nine hundred dollars. Unlike a substantial number of my friends, who will be spending theirs overseas, I will be spending mine stimulating the economy (which really sounds like something one shouldn't do without one's friends).
Second of all - and this is perhaps a touchy subject - could you possibly please stop opening my packages from AK Press? I get a package from them about once a month, and it's always opened. Look, I don't want to be tactless here, but let's face it. I'm not a terrorist. I have a semi-steady job in the public sector, I live in a respectable apartment in a leafy inner-city suburb, and spend way too much of my time in lycra to be taken seriously as a threat to the status quo. A few books on anarchist theory are not going to drive me to take up arms and overthrow the government. Let it go, ok?