Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Blue Black Eyes.

Dear The Australian Government,

First of all, thank you for the nine hundred dollars. Unlike a substantial number of my friends, who will be spending theirs overseas, I will be spending mine stimulating the economy (which really sounds like something one shouldn't do without one's friends).

Second of all - and this is perhaps a touchy subject - could you possibly please stop opening my packages from AK Press? I get a package from them about once a month, and it's always opened. Look, I don't want to be tactless here, but let's face it. I'm not a terrorist. I have a semi-steady job in the public sector, I live in a respectable apartment in a leafy inner-city suburb, and spend way too much of my time in lycra to be taken seriously as a threat to the status quo. A few books on anarchist theory are not going to drive me to take up arms and overthrow the government. Let it go, ok?

Thanks,

Brendan

3 comments:

Mel said...

You're exactly the sort of terrorist they should be worried about:

a) Inculcating impressionable kids with radical ideas
b) Refuses to eat Aussie beef/lamb (chicken, oddly, isn't such a patriotic meat)
c) Has infiltrated leafy inner-city suburb rather than being easily raidable out in Thomastown
d) Lycra! Haven't you ever heard of SUPERHEROES?

Natasha said...

BICYCLE MAN!

He rides circles around the bad guys/members of the status quo.

harriet said...

Ha, they never open mine.