Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Blue Black Eyes.

Dear The Australian Government,

First of all, thank you for the nine hundred dollars. Unlike a substantial number of my friends, who will be spending theirs overseas, I will be spending mine stimulating the economy (which really sounds like something one shouldn't do without one's friends).

Second of all - and this is perhaps a touchy subject - could you possibly please stop opening my packages from AK Press? I get a package from them about once a month, and it's always opened. Look, I don't want to be tactless here, but let's face it. I'm not a terrorist. I have a semi-steady job in the public sector, I live in a respectable apartment in a leafy inner-city suburb, and spend way too much of my time in lycra to be taken seriously as a threat to the status quo. A few books on anarchist theory are not going to drive me to take up arms and overthrow the government. Let it go, ok?




Mel said...

You're exactly the sort of terrorist they should be worried about:

a) Inculcating impressionable kids with radical ideas
b) Refuses to eat Aussie beef/lamb (chicken, oddly, isn't such a patriotic meat)
c) Has infiltrated leafy inner-city suburb rather than being easily raidable out in Thomastown
d) Lycra! Haven't you ever heard of SUPERHEROES?

Natasha said...


He rides circles around the bad guys/members of the status quo.

harriet said...

Ha, they never open mine.