I've never really been one of those 'couldabeen / shouldabeen' kinda guys. This probably comes across as a cliche, but there are absolutely no quasi-philosophical / spiritual undercurrents here - I'm simply not smart enough to conduct the business of everyday life and spend a lot of time worrying about what I could have done better at the same time. This is probably a curse and a blessing at the same time, but, true to form, I really don't spend a lot of time thinking about it.
Lately, however, there has been one major exception. My parents are probably the first people on the 'exempt' list when it comes to assigning blame for the decisions I made as a young lad - as many folks around will eagerly inform you, they pretty much made did the best they could with the, well, let's just call it the difficult hand they were dealt. But nowadays, when I'm out suffering on the bike just so I can be competitive in a few more B grade club races, I can't help but wonder why, when I was 15 and totally jack of athletics and football, but still really freaking fit from going out into the Grampians on my mountain bike every other weekend, my folks didn't take me down to the Ararat velodrome and suggest I go round and round in circles for a bit. I might have been hooked from the start, and my fitness wouldn't have ever dropped the way it did, and those results would've been in A grade instead of B.
When I'm struggling up some hill, or killing myself to keep up with some nineteen year old, this really pisses me off. Is almost-thirty too old to storm off into my room, slam the door and crank the stereo?