Burn BaBaBa Burn, Burn The Fucking Flag.

Australian Madison Championships are on tonight at DISC, and I'm in a heckling mood.

Possible subjects to address:

Cam Meyer - he's 21. Why hasn't puberty struck yet? And why the fuck are he and Glen O'Shea riding for Brunettis? They're not middle aged men with beer guts! In fact, Cam Meyer probably weighs as much as one of those beer guts. Maybe inside every single one of those beer guts there's a Cam Meyer, just waiting to be born.

Bogans in cycling: Where did they come from (New Zealand?) and will they show us their Southern Cross tattoos?

Graeme Brown: Exactly what size are his crankypants, does he get them tailormade and can i borrow them?

And finally, I also intend to refer to everyone as 'Lance', and ask them if they're going to ride the Tour de France. The only problem with this is a handful of them will say 'yes', and not be lying. That won't be as funny.