Just Roaming For The Moment.

Today HMC sent me the following text:

"I dunno how you do it. Every time i do an ergo, the mere thought of doing one later in the week, makes me wanna puke."

(sic)

I resist the initial temptation to tell him that it sounds less like an ergo problem and more like a thinking problem, and pause to give it some more thought. What drives me to get back on the bike for hour after hour of suffering? Probably mostly farts. But it's also a weird quirk of my personality. I want to succeed, like everyone else, and always really try to kill myself on the ergo. I use bigger gears, hit higher numbers, sprint at the end of efforts, give everything I have in the tiny little end room that occasionally stinks of sweat and exertion. But approximately 30 seconds after I get off the bike I think that I could've done better. Absolutely beyond a doubt convinced that I could've found something more. So I start to tell myself that next time it'll be different: next time I'll aim for a higher cadence, stay in the higher end of my heart rate zone longer, be even more wrecked by the time I get off the bike. By the time the next session comes around I'm positively looking forward to it.

I guess, in a way, you always need to think you can do better. You always need to think you have enormous amounts of unfulfilled potential that you can tap into with smart and hard training. This may be a delusion. But, on the other hand, it may not be.