Monday, February 27, 2012

Where's My Pension Plan?

Alright, so I'm currently a little loose due to copious consumption of painkillers. Like I just told the dentist, I know I've got lots of tattoos, but I'm kind of a wuss when it comes to pain, so right now Panadeine Forte is my best buddy. This, of course, pisses off my other buddy, quality writing, who has no doubt by this point left the building. Proceed with caution.

The other day, down at Birrarung Marr, when I found a moment's respite from being an elitist hipster fuck, I went and chatted to the girls at what was definitely not the Cycling Australia tent. Like I said earlier, they really knew their shit. On a whim I asked them about a press pass to the Track World Champs. Slightly skeptical, they asked me who I had written for. When I told them I'd done work for Cycling News their eyebrows lowered a little bit, and they told me I could apply through the UCI, and that there was a link on the World Champs site.

So I found the link, and set up an account with the UCI. When they asked about my website, I wrote down that it was The New Timer. I didn't think anything more about it, firm in the knowledge that a website that features YouTube clips of old punk rock bands and moaning about mystery illnesses doesn't hold much sway in Aigle.

But then last night I received this email:

"Accreditation request approved.

Hello Brendan Bailey Brendan Bailey,

your accreditation request for UCI Track World Championships 2012 (Melbourne-AUS) has been accepted.

Please check the accreditation centre opening hours in your personal page

Demande d'accréditation acceptée.

Bonjour Brendan Bailey Brendan Bailey,

votre demande d'accréditation pour UCI Track World Championships 2012 (Melbourne-AUS) a été acceptée.

Veuillez vérifier SVP les horaires d'ouverture du centre d'accréditation dans votre page personnelle."

I'm not entirely sure what the French part says, but I'm guessing that it also tells me that I've scored a press pass. Either that, or confesses that Pat McQuaid is a mad Milemarker fan. I will, of course, be convinced of both facts only when I have the lanyard around my neck, but until proven otherwise I'm going to continue to believe it is true. All day I've been fantasizing about asking Sarah Hammer if she is related to MC, giving Chris Hoy tactical advice, and trying to convince Matthew Glaetzer that religion is the opiate of the masses. However, like when Helmets are Hot interviewed Anna Meares, I'm also keen to hear your questions. Who would you like me to interview? And what questions would you like to hear answered? I intend to be there every session - school holidays are a hell of a thing - so will probably have heaps of both time and access. So post your questions below and I'll see what I can do.


Gink_04 said...

i'd love to contribute but all i can think is OMG OMG OMG WORLD FUCKING CHAMPS!!

Neil Robinson said...

can you please ask Perko and Sir Chris if I can touch their quads?