Thursday, August 23, 2012
Last night, when I had lots of energy, and was feeling expansive, I agreed to ride a Madison tonight. Dan Nelson's teammate has been injured and he needed someone to take the place. He told me he'd chase and sprint, and that sounded pretty good to me.
Right now, however, with a storm rolling in, soft music on the stereo and a weird, kind of ominous yellow light to the sky, riding a Madison is pretty much the last thing I want to do. But the Madison is a bit of an anomaly amongst the mass-start track events, in that you do it as a part of a team. Further to this, tonight's race is the last of the series, and anyone not riding forfeits all of the points they'd previously gained. Dan has ridden all of the races, and I believe just needs to finish tonight to end up doing ok.
I don't mind letting myself down. Hell, I do it all the time - I've pulled out of races, failed to finish, made more mistakes than I care to count. That's on me, and I can deal with that, rationalize it over time, put on some mopey music, lay in my bed and work it out. But there's no way in hell I'm not going to show up tonight. And, further to this, there's a good chance I'll turn myself inside out on the track, working my ass off to ensure Dan gets the points he needs. I don't mind letting myself down, but I refuse to let others down.
I don't make many promises, and I don't make promises that I'm not sure I can keep. So when I do say, "I promise", you know that it'll happen. Whatever it may be.